See you Next Week!

Hey, all!

Just a wee update, since I have not been posting so regularly of late!  All is good - work has been very busy - I'm doing a "block" on a K/1 class, and really enjoying having a bit of continuity with the same group of kids.  Catapulting into (temporary) full-time work, though, on the back of having been quite unwell, mid-term, has left little energy for writing/blogging/or anything much else!

SOOOO....  Since it is now school holidays, I am taking the opportunity to head off into the wild blue yonder, to take some time for myself, to rest and reflect.  Ian has the kids during the first holiday week, and I have been wanting some silence, and the space to "reconnect",  for a while - so it seems like the perfect opportunity!

I've found a lovely, quiet little place to stay, and am planning to sleep, walk, meditate, and hopefully do some writing too.  We'll see.  Time alone has often been a very healing thing, for me - and I'm really looking forward to my little break.  I'll let you know how it goes!!  At the very least, I shall bring back some pretty photos to post :)

Shalom!
Kerry

Parting Ways... and what I don't (and do) believe about the BIBLE!

Did I mention I've just made the decision to pull my kids out of the Christian School they're currently attending?

A big part of the reason is simply financial.  We've been struggling to make ends meet, and it has been necessary to re-evaluate.   Then there's the fact that Hannah's social group seems to have disappeared (and it is a very small school - a factor that attracted us in the first place, and up until now has been a lovely thing!).  I've appreciated lots of things about the school community.  Both of my kids have some "quirks" (how could they not, with me as a mother!) that mean they sometimes need a bit of extra understanding and TLC - and the teachers they've had there have been supportive, gracious and caring. If I needed to look for examples of love, from people who are invested in the Christian "institution" - I could very honestly say that I have seen them there, with a consistency that can't, and shouldn't, be dismissed.  I have seen, in so many of the teachers there, the genuine love of God.  If we could stop there, I would be fighting to find the funds to keep my kids in that education community.

But...  (and it's a REALLY.  BIG.  BUT.)  I've come to the conclusion that the fundamental theology  that the school teaches, is damaging my kids' faith.   I've struggled for a long time, with knowing how to share with my kids a faith that is real and life-giving, without burdening them with the same religious shackles I grew up with, and have taken not years, but decades to recover from!  I still don't have the

Things I DON'T believe in.

I seem to be suffering from an ongoing case of "blogger's block" of late...  I think it is mostly due to the business of life;  work has been FULL on, lately, and (lucky me) the only times it hasn't been, I've fallen victim to the flu or some other rotten nasty bug (would you believe I and number one son are off to the doctor today, both with tonsillitis!), so a lot of things have been "on hold" for the last little while.

Percolating in the background, however, has been a desire to write a post about where I think the person of Jesus (you know, "Christ", "of Nazareth"... THAT Jesus!) fits into my thinking about life, faith, the universe, etc.  Part of my blogger's block, if I'm honest - is the fact that I find this confronting in a lot of ways.  It is a challenging post for me to write, and confronts not only what I believe, but how I live my life.  I know that I don't embody what I believe to be truth, anywhere NEAR enough.  And I think that's what it's all about - so to write about it is... confronting for me.

Anyway, enough of that.  I am going to ease myself into this via the "path of least resistance".  Today's post is not about what I believe at all - but what I definitely DON'T.  In a sense, it is far easier to be negative about religion and what is wrong with the world, than to BE the solution - but it is also useful to clarify where you are NOT, in order to see where you ARE (if that makes sense), so at the risk of sounding a bit negative, this is where I'm starting.  Bear with me!

Speaking of "Beautiful".

Although some commenters might be wondering, I haven't abandoned the discussion on beauty initiated in the previous post.  It's been a busy week and I haven't had the time or mental energy to put anything coherent together - yet.

However, I was sent something during the week that brought tears to my eyes, and seemed a perfect example of the kinds of things that are "beautiful" in a way that might just transcend biology, attraction, and all that is easily explained.

Beauty.

Image Credit:  http://weheartit.com/entry/29738946

Here's a question that relates to the whole "consciousness" discussion...  What about... beauty!?

I was talking to my deep thinking friend, Monica, the other day and she brought this up.  Her question was, do animals have an aesthetic sense?  Do they stop and gasp in wonder at a starry sky or soaring vista??  Is the concept and experience of "beauty" something unique to conscious thinking... or not?

Catching Up...

UN-varnished ME!!  

I had some thoughts about what I might post about next, but given the fact I've been absent for a while, I think perhaps just a little "personal catch-up" might be in order...  I'll get deep and philosophical later!

I'm not sure why I've had so little to write, of late.  There are a few "common-sense" factors.  Work has been very busy, most of the time - and though I'm enjoying it (most days) I do tend to come home "knackered", and without the available brain-space to put anything very coherent together.  However, even on the days when I'm not working, my head hasn't really been in the right space for writing.

What is "Spiritual"?

Image Credit:  http://www.iconfoundation.net/?q=research-topics/connectomics

Well...  I have been avoiding writing, for some reason, of late...  a bit of writers (hell, everything-ers) block!  Time to kick my brain back into gear and get moving, methinks!

I was on a bit of a roll, about consciousness, and internal, vs. external worlds.  It still seems to me that our internal worlds are bigger, and arguably more influential (?!) than the external, physical world.  My friend Monica, when we were having a conversation about this, made the point that the number of atoms in the physical universe is thought to be finite - yet the world of ideas and imagination is infinite.

In a previous discussion, it was pointed out that some of the things we think of as "transcending" biology, such as art, literature, religion, can be explained in biological terms as "display behaviour".  I'm sure there is very often a strong element of this - but I find it hard to believe it's really that simple.  And to be honest, I think that when any of these things are strongly motivated by something so basic, it shows.  The things that really make "our spirits soar" tend to be those that take us beyond all that in some way.

What's more Real??

Image credit:  http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2011/mar/09/why-are-atoms-so-small

We are getting so "life, the universe and everything" here, of late - that some wiseguy is SURE to make the comment "42".  But if you don't mind adding a little chaos to your mental mix, come along for the ride!  There are sure to be more questions than answers, but I've fallen victim to an addictive fascination, so here we go again!!

I've been marvelling at the infinite nature of human consciousness (here and here, if you missed it), and the fact that our own "internal worlds" are immeasurably vast, and able to both represent and transcend the physical universe, in so many ways.  The physical universe and our own biology certainly do place limits on us, and far more than I think we like to believe.  There are many ways in which our behaviour and thinking can be seen as very much "biologically determined".  I get that.  And I know we are adept at inventing fictitious (or at least, semi-fictitious) explanations for our own motivations and actions, fooling even ourselves - so this really is a complex puzzle to tease apart.  

However, as much as I pull and poke at my understanding of ourselves and our universe - I continue to see something infinitely larger than the sum of our atoms.

Tardis People!

Each being contains in itself the whole intelligible world.  PLOTINUS

Image Credit:  http://www.androidzoom.com/android_applications/entertainment/tardis_bmqhf.html

Alright.  I'm completely stuck on this notion of each human  being as a "universe" - perhaps several!  Like Doctor Who's Tardis - SOOO much bigger on the inside!!  (and I would argue, in so many more dimensions!)

Walt Whitman, in his famous poem Song of Myself -  described all kinds of things occurring around him, as if they were a part of him and contained within him - and so far as we understand consciousness - they are!!

If we could roll out some kind of map or representation of all that is contained within the consciousness of a single individual - it would display much of the physical world (albeit with individual emphases and distortions) and an infinite amount of thought, feeling, imagination and individual perspective.  It would be HUGE in every dimension possible, and anything but finite or static.

Gran Torino

I & my kids spent most of the last week at my brother's house, taking care of my nieces and nevvies, while Josh and his lovely wife were off holidaying  (lucky them)!

While I was there, "playing auntie" I ferreted through Josh and Caro's DVD collection, and found a copy of  Çlint Eastwood's "Gran Torino" - a movie I'd always wanted to see but hadn't gotten around to.  I watched it after the kids were in bed.  It. Was. Beautiful!

I blogged a while ago about "types of Christ", mentioning a few I'd seen in movies.  Definitely gotta add Walt Kowalski (Eastwood's character in Gran Torino) to that list.

Seriously - I've been wanting to write some kind of story, of a character who surrenders, gives his life for others - and triumphs in a lasting way - and where "death" of some kind (not necessarily of a person) becomes the gateway to life - but hadn't found the "vehicle" for the story - and Eastwood well and truly beat me to it!!

What's Blowing my Mind!

It's been a while since I posted any thoughts here, and to be honest, things have been so busy with work, etc., that I haven't got a lot of clearly thought out things to say.  However, between bouts of busy bedlam (hehe, sorry!!)  I have been working on a bit of poetry.

The pieces aren't finished, and when they are I am hoping to enter them into a competition or anthology or some such thing... which means I can't share them here, as that would be considered publication.  However I'm attempting to bounce around some really HUUGE ideas, so if you're up for it - I'd like to bounce them around here (sans poetry - which will be a relief, for many of you, I'm sure) and hear your thoughts, dear friends!

Image Credit:  http://www.newclearvision.com/2011/09/21/the-unfolding-universe/

I've been toying with the idea that each human being is a universe... or perhaps, a multiverse?  I mean, think about it.   We think Doctor Who's Tardis is amazing - but WE are far "bigger on the inside" than that!

Kerry goes Bolshie!

Image credit:  http://funnycollectionworld.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/angry-girl-face-photos.html

I want to have a big, cranky "vent".  I'm letting off steam a bit here, okay - so I'm giving you all fair warning, though I'll try not to be completely detrimental!

I attended church on the weekend.  The little church I have been going to is a lovely little community in so many ways.  There is a "holding loosely" of doctrinal ideas, that allows people of different persuasions to feel welcome.  There's room for discussion, and for difference.  Sometimes it looks pretty "churchified" and other times it looks pretty free and relaxed.  Sometimes, what happens there challenges or softens me and my 'Bolshie' prejudices, and other times, I think I challenge others, in a good way (at least, I hope so - a lot of the time I'm afraid I just look like that spiky, mistrustful "outsider").

Anyway... I turned up on Sunday after a couple of months absence.  It was lovely to see familiar friends.  We sang about Jesus and love.  That was beautiful.  Cathy shared communion, and it was a message of hope and gratitude.  It did my heart good.  There was a baby dedication, where friends and family gathered round and committed to supporting one another to bring up little William (he and I are good mates, in spite of our 46 year age difference) to know God's love.  Then there was a guest speaker.  I kinda think that's when "Church" (in the sense of community built around the love of God - that kind of church) finished.

Why is it a big deal?

I glanced over a post in Sojourners this morning, about Christians disagreeing about stuff.  Not exactly new news.  The article made the point that as a community of people, it would be more surprising if we didn't disagree (which I think is true) but the author was concerned that the way we go about it is really the problem.  I guess I agree with that too - at least, that the unloving, point scoring, superior way Christians often go about disagreeing on everything from doctrine to politics to clothing, is problematic.  To put it mildly.  Actually, if you take the words of Jesus seriously, it's a sign that those who behave like this are not actually Christians.  (I'm not kidding - if "they will know them by their love" is true - there are a LOT of very churchy types who are in deep, spiritual trouble!)

But I digress.

What we See...

Okay.  Here is where you get to see what a complete ninny I can sometimes be... but there's a point to this!

A while ago, a friend told me the story of having sighted, some years ago, a Tasmanian Tiger (Thylacine) in the bush near Bargo, NSW.  For those who don't know the Highlands, Bargo is not far from where I live.  Now Thylacines have been extinct for the best part of a century - so in spite of his attestation that both he AND his father had seen the animal and been sure of its identity - I was not convinced.  However the story kind of stuck in the back of my mind.

Last week I worked 5 days in a row in a lovely country school, and enjoyed the beautiful drive through the bush every day to get there.  On the first day, I noticed a dead animal by the side of the road, on one of the bends.  It looked much like a dog, but dark in colour and appeared to have some stripes.  For some reason, the idea formed in my mind that it looked rather like a Tasmanian Tiger.  I pushed the thought away, but it kept coming back.  After driving past it several days in a row and deciding it really didn't look like a dog, I decided I should investigate - just in case I really happened to be driving past the zoological discovery of the century!

... A Busy Season ...

Well,  things have slowed down here on the blog - on account of becoming VERY busy elsewhere - For those who don't know, when I'm not wasting time online, or doing crazy things to my house and yard, I earn money as a casual relief teacher.  After a very quiet period, the teacher-absentee-season has arrived with a venegeance!  I've been working full-time hours the last couple of weeks, and had to turn down additional offers of work almost every day - it's gone crazy!!  

In spite of a little unaccustomed weariness at the end of each week, this is a very GOOD thing, as the finances were getting alarmingly shabby!  (note to self:  budget better for the quiet season next year!!)

I'm also really enjoying the schools I've been working at... this week I have the WHOLE week with the most delightful bunch of Kindy kids - & I'm really enjoying the change of pace - it's kinda cool having completely different ages and stages from day to day!

So if the blog updates get a little less frequent for a while, or I don't pop up as regularly in the usual cyber-places, it's not because anything's gone wrong - it's all fabulously right!  My teacher-muscles are enjoying the workout, and my bank balance is singing!!   I'll update when I can, and look forward to hanging out more regularly once things slow down again...

Subverting our Stories...

Image Credit:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/harisroussos/6841284929/

Alright.  Here's my latest "niggle".  What is unique about Jesus?  It's one of those hard questions that can't be answered glibly.  I grew up steeped in the tradition that says Jesus was, in fact, God incarnate.  And that he was the only incarnation of the one true God, to visit us in this way.  That's a very. big. claim.

So, if Jesus was the only human incarnation of the Creator God of the cosmos;  what would he be like?  What would be unique about him?  It seems to me that if the crucifixion of Christ is, indeed, the pivotal point of human history - then there has to be a whole lot more to it, than a substitutionary sacrifice to fulfil the demands of a religion - ANY religion.  That's just not big enough.

Now some of my Christian friends reading this will think I've finally lost the plot and fallen into heresy - and my atheist friends will be cheering because I've finally "seen the light" and abandoned my faith - but settle down, peeps - this is neither.

Women and Men

Image Credit:  genderpolicyforum.wordpress.com

I've never thought of myself as a real "girly-girl", but I've spent a bit of time lately in the company of women - and it has been absolutely wonderful!

You know, at their best, women are honest, communicative, warm, supportive, and my GOD, we are strong!!  The other day, I sat in a cafe nook with a couple of the women from the poetry group I've joined.  Both older than me (closer in age to my mother) - but it felt like time with sisters.  We talked and laughed, and shared.  I got to know them in ways that their public personas never reveal... and was awestruck by their strength and dignity, SO hard-won in the struggles and challenges of their lives.  I got to hear them share about the ways they have adjusted to the difficulties and disappointments of life, love and relationships, often making choices that meant great personal sacrifice - yet never in any way diminishing their knowledge of their own value and personhood.  Sitting there, I saw women who had found their worth, and knew it was not in the needs or estimation of any other person.  It was both humbling and inspiring.

Chatting with another woman friend this morning, the talk turned to "motherhood", and the ways in which we as women tend to "hold it all together" socially and relationally, for our families.  She is a mum who has until recently homeschooled a daughter with special needs, is now an advocate for her as she transfers to formal schooling, is dealing with significant health challenges faced by both her daughter and herself - and in spite of seemingly never-ending challenges, is looking to the future, celebrating some wonderful successes, and remaining strong.  When I talk with her, I get the sense that she is creating a world of opportunities around her family and herself, and teaching her daughter to do the same.

Sometimes it seems, in our culture, that women do all the nurturing, give of themselves, hold their relational worlds together for the sake of others,   while our men focus on wage-earning, live on some kind of "auto-pilot" and become more and more disconnected from their families and the real heart of life.

While I Wasn't Blogging...

OR doing housework, or anything at all responsible...


I wrote THIS!


It's not quiiite  polished (well, new poems usually are not), but I thought I'd share it, anyway :)


I think perhaps I will stick a copy of it on my wall as justification for all the un-done tasks around the house....

Typology

Image Credit:  http://www.streetandstage.com/jesus-christ-pose/

Now there's a word!!


My dad was a bit of a theologian, and so I grew up with a bit of theological language in the atmosphere.  A "type" in theology-speak is something that creates a picture for us.  Usually it is used in the phrase "a type of Christ", meaning "a picture of what Christ is like".  Some of the "types" I remember learning about were as varied as the rock that Moses hit in the desert (Moses hit the rock and then water came out), the snake on a stick that healed people (yes - that's really in there!) Melchizedeck  (the priest from nobody-knows-where who came and talked with Abraham), the luckless sheep that got sacrificed instead of Isaac, and of course LOTS of the Jewish laws, ceremonies and rituals.  


I'm a little hazy on the details now... those conversations were a long time ago, and in any case I'm sure there are varied opinions about them all.  However I love that concept of a "picture", rather than an explanation.   


So it got me thinking, what are some modern "types" that speak to me of Christ-ness?

What's the REAL point???

I woke up yesterday morning with a very CLEAR idea of what I was gonna post on the blog... then the day got busy, I didn't do it, and now I'm not quite sure where I was headed.  Don't you hate that??

So... I'm going to put some of my fuddled thoughts out there - but then YOU're gonna help me (Pleeease?  It'll be SO MUCH better if you do!)

It started with a couple of online discussions I've either been involved in or privy to.  Theological stuff  (don't run away now).  One involved the issue of homosexual marriage - a hot topic in Aust. right now (& if you are connected with me on facebook, you no doubt saw the heated debate that went on!)  A couple of others involved "churchy" type discussions about...  well, it doesn't really even matter what they were about...  MY frustration is about the approach we tend to take, to all this stuff.  (& don't tune out if you're not a "churchy" type - I'm talking about people in general).

The thing is, in ALL of these conversations, there was a lot of nitty-gritty, intense discussion, about whether things were, or were being done, or being thought of, the "right" way.  Whether someone's behaviour or views were "correct", or not. 

Well I have some thoughts about that.  For starters, when the conversation heads that way, I tend to back out.  Fast.  I think at that point, all is lost.