|Untitled - By Me.|
Ever become aware of a "story" that you've been telling yourself? A convenient fiction that you habitually use, because it's easier and more comfortable than really engaging with the truth?
We all do it.
It starts when we're kids. 'Oh, he's just a "boy's boy"!' (he's really rough and aggressive but that's okay)
"She's such a little princess!" (she's spoiled and self-centred, but we'll humour her)
Sometimes these stories remain unchallenged into adulthood. But even if they don't, we will go on to make up new and better fictions.
One of mine is (now shhh... don't tell ;) "Oh I'm just very open and social". Well, I am. But that blithe pronouncement is something I have used, at times, to avoid more honest examination, of my interactions with people. It can be a little mental censor's board that I hold up; shielding me from the fact that I'm... maybe... letting my own neediness show... or what's infinitely worse, toying with the vulnerability of another.