I have a feeling this post is going to be less of a theological /cultural comment, than it is just personal rant. Sorry in advance for this - but there's some stuff I just need to get off my chest.
I'm going through a divorce (yes, it's definite). It's necessary. It's a relief. But the process sucks. Big time. There are times when it feels like surviving a death. What makes it worse, is that I am a CHRISTIAN going through divorce. OH. MY.
Can you tell that I'm feeling angry? I've long been an outspoken critic of "Christian culture". We have created religious shackles for ourselves and others that Jesus never intended. In fact, I firmly believe that if he were walking around in sandals today, he'd be doing a lot more table-tipping than
most of us realise. I doubt much of the Church would even recognise Him - but I'm getting off track...
A friend commented to me early in this process, that when you are getting out of a "big hole", the further out you climb, the deeper you realise the hole has been... or something along those lines. Wise friend! Part of my realisation of how deep the "hole" has been for me, is that I am beginning to see the role that Christian Culture has played, in the depth and length of my own marital misery. There's a lot more to the story than I'm prepared to air here - but those who know us as a family, know it has been a lot more than just difficult. Friends outside the Church have expressed relief that it is finally ending. Apart from a couple of notable (and lifesaving) exceptions who have said the same, I have had to justify my decision to all my close friends and family who are "Churched". They just can't get their heads around it. And the truth is - neither could I, for such a long time - which is a big part of why it went on for so unhealthily long.
The truth is, "no divorce" is not just the default position for Churchy people - it's the ONLY position. Unless he's actually beating you within an inch of your life or doing something sexually immoral. And then you should seek counselling and try to heal the relationship and start again. JEEESSSUSSS!!!
Blind Freddie could see I was caught in something damaging. Only clearly he wasn't a Christian!! How is this sanely possible??
Yep. I'm angry. And here's the irony. For all our Christian talk about family values and the sanctity of marriage - we have a HIGHER divorce rate than most other social/cultural groups. On top of this, when "Christians" are broken down into more specific denominational groupings, "non-denominational" (or "born again") Christians score way and above all the other groups. Something is very wrong with this picture, people!! Yet another piece of evidence that the culture of Christianity does not match the reality of living connected to a loving and gracious God. (or indeed, any reality at all!!)
For a thought provoking perspective, and the stats in question, see the article here. (it's American, but I imagine the Australian stats would not be all that different)
I know I sound harsh. I'm angry. But wear what fits. We have a lot to answer for!