tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62538240194266595732024-03-14T20:33:13.979+11:00Heady BrewThoughts from my headspace!Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.comBlogger110125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-46730421604514590362014-06-24T18:21:00.002+10:002014-06-24T18:21:25.972+10:00Spilling the Brew! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I started this blog, what now seems about a trillion years ago, it was with the idea of exploring something new I was discovering in my faith and in my life. After decades of earnest (and strict!) religious observance I was finally comfortable to allow myself to ask some "hard questions" and possibly step outside some of the "self-evident truths" held during my upbringing and by subsequent faith communities. <br />
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This was not an angry, stricture-tearing impulse. Rather, it was a joyous discovery of something alive and wonderful, and most of all, <i>real</i> - that my religion often seemed to be at odds with, and yet it made sense of so much that had always puzzled me about the Jesus narrative. This, in spite of the fact that this same narrative was supposed to be the rock-solid foundation of the faith we shared. In fact, the name of this blog is a reference to a metaphor Jesus used; likening new truth that is too potent for old structures to contain to "new wine" that will split old wineskins (See my first ever post, <a href="http://kerrysheadybrew.blogspot.com.au/2010/01/why-heady-brew.html" target="_blank">here</a>.)<br />
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Well, it seems, my "HeadyBrew" wineskin has split. Along with a lot of my previous understandings of what it means to have faith, and particularly, to "follow Christ". I'm still learning, and still growing. I still see the example of Christ as the most potent narrative for our world, that I have ever understood. However I have come to see organised Christian (or any) religion as largely irrelevant to me. Perhaps I will come "full circle" (as some of my friends seem to have done) and find comfort and meaning in liturgy and ritual. At this point, I do not. <br />
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As a source of reminding, of what is valuable and true and good, and the reasons for love, I do not discount the value of liturgical practice. However, as a source of rigid "in-group" identification, of "us and them" mentality, of performance anxiety and moral measurement, of control through fear (yes, that's what I just said!) and very definitely as a source of social privilege and influence for a very particular interpretation of life and morality - I most definitely do not support organised religion. <br />
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The faith conversation that I became part of, and which inspired the need for this blog, is continuing. I'm certain it is enabling many others to move from fear to love. And perhaps to redefine "faith". However that conversation is important for folk who are part of organised religion and are seeking to understand how this fits with their modern life experience, and in many cases seeking to reform the"institutions" to which they belong. This no longer applies to me. I am not seeking to reform "church". I've moved on. <br />
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So what am I doing now? <br />
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Well, I'm writing poetry and short fiction (not as prolifically as I'd like, but working on that...) and I'm proud to announce that a poem and a short story of mine will be appearing in an Australian anthology, due out in September this year. I think, if you can get a copy to read (it's Called "Seeking Horizons" edited by Mark Tredinnick and Ron Pretty) you will recognise in the story, some of the very same themes that were explored here on HeadyBrew.<br />
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I'm also involved in a community initiative called arc-Community. You can find our (very new) website <a href="http://www.arc-community.net.au/" target="_blank">here</a>. It's actually one way I am putting my faith into action in the world. The idea is to share stories of positive community connections and solutions, to encourage dialogue and connections in Australian communities. Doesn't sound very theological, does it? Boil it down, though, and it's about love. <br />
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Oh, and I have a new personal blog, although I don't post often. You can find it <a href="http://randomkerry.blogspot.com.au/" target="_blank">here</a> and if you are a Facebook user, you can always find much more of what I'm up to, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/kerry.millerwhalen?ref=tn_tnmn" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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Thank you, to my blogging friends who have been with me, and been interested enough to share thoughts and ideas with me in this space. It's been beyond valuable! Perhaps I'll catch you in some of my new haunts, or vice versa! <br />
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With love,<br />
Kerry<br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-24193007211568529462013-05-21T11:49:00.000+10:002013-05-21T17:34:54.996+10:00Holy Crap!! (aka Prayer???)<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What the????</td></tr>
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Okay - I'm trying to be "interest catching" and controversial with that title... I don't necessarily find the idea of prayer completely synonymous with "Holy Crap" - but often I think it is. And, a bit of honesty (that may prompt knowing grins from my atheist friends, and exclamations along the lines of "aha! I KNEW it!!" from some of my Christian friends... ) At this point in my spiritual journey - I kinda...don't... pray. I just don't. <br />
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I grew up with the idea that if I wanted to "grow as a Christian" I needed to have a daily "Quiet Time". There were suggested formulas for this. One part Bible reading, one part praying (divided into praise, worship, interceding and requests to God) and maybe even one part "listening" for God to answer.<br />
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The formula, I'm sure, is only meant to be a bit of a guideline, and the whole "quiet time" idea is not necessarily a bad discipline, either - but it is very easy to get the message (which I most emphatically did) that if you fail to meet this expectation, to do it daily, or "the right way" that all would not be well, spiritually.<br />
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I don't feel that pressure anymore - but it literally took decades to shake that fear; that I wasn't "doing it right" and God wouldn't be pleased with me, and my "prayers" wouldn't be answered because I hadn't approached Him the right way. (Oh - and even if you happen to find a "quiet time" helpful, it really ISN'T a cement-clad criterion for "growing as a Christian". Whatever your chosen means of "mindful" spirituality, the only essential criterion that I believe stands up to scrutiny, is growing in love. Period.) <br />
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But... getting back to the "prayer thing"; What is it, anyway?? <br />
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I mean, how many "prayer memes" have you seen on Facebook (or email, if you're not a fellow social media addict)? I especially "love" them, when they tell you that you have no heart if you don't "like" or "share"! The example pictured above may seem like a cheap shot - but how different is it, really, from the way that many people (self included) learn to pray?<br />
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When I was young, I felt that I had to suck up to God with "praise and worship" until the hard and angry deity was soothed sufficiently to hear my requests. But even in delivering those, I had to be careful to mention others before myself, and show myself sufficiently humble and pure to warrant a few little requests of my own. If those didn't get answered? Well, there were three answers, weren't there? "Yes", "No" and "Wait a while", and it was always possible I just hadn't done it right. Try again - and harder - tomorrow. <br />
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Of course, this is different to a facebook "click" (or touching a rosary bead... or going through a superstitious routine of some kind) because it's MUCH more detailed... oh wait, yeah - it's the same - only more - agonising!!<br />
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But hey, it wasn't all bad - and I'm not "throwing the baby out with the bathwater", here. (I hear a gentle exhalation - of disappointment from my more zealous atheist dear ones - and relief from the Christian camp). There were times in my very tortured "quiet times" when I think God really did speak to me. After all, if he <i>isn't</i> actually the angry tyrant so many of us subconsciously believe him to be - then why wouldn't he speak, when someone is very earnestly trying to hear Him? Funny thing is, the moments of insight and clarity that I look back on, as my most significant "hearing from God" didn't even happen when I was "praying". I'll say that again, in case you missed it: my most significant moments of "hearing from God" did not happen during prayer. Yep. That's what I said.<br />
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They happened, when I was still enough to hear. They happened, when I was ready for an important reality to sink in. They happened, sometimes, when I least expected it! How do I know it was God? Rationally, I don't. What I do know, is that they were moments of profound and life-changing insight; and nothing remained the same afterwards. Each time, there was a sense of deep understanding, of hope, of a "way forward". And each time, events unfolded in a way which affirmed that. Changes came about as a result of those "moments" that were healthy, and that enabled me to move forward into freedom of some kind. That is something I don't want to close myself off to. <br />
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At the moment, the only real "prayer" I participate in, is a kind of reflective and mindful participation in those things I know to be part of "the way". Forgiveness. "Being there" for those around me who need it. (I don't necessarily do this well - but each time I make a choice in that direction, I regard it as a kind of prayer). Will my prayer life involve more actual "conversation" (you know, the kind that uses actual words) in the future? Well, quite possibly. But my hope (or, prayer?) is that the inclusion of words will never be more than the inclusion of words in my "walk of life" with close family and friends. Just a part of "being" together; not something divorced from reality or my true heart. <br />
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Amen.Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-80575949084179208222013-05-02T10:21:00.000+10:002013-05-02T10:29:26.325+10:00If God isn't love...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been wondering whether to continue with the blog, however there's a thought rolling around in my <br />
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head that won't let me go, so here I am again! <br />
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I've realised something. There are lots of ideas out there about what "God" is like. They can't all be right - in fact, (& I guess this ought to be obvious) if we are talking about something as infinite as "God" - none of them can be, really. I mean - nobody can possibly fit something that large into any kind of human explanation - not in its entirety, anyway. But that isn't my realisation.<br />
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WHAT IF the notion that <i>I </i>hold dearly, that God is Love - and vice versa - is complete nonsense? (I don't think it is but let's stay with that, for a moment, for argument's sake) What if God REALLY is a demanding, legalistic, (dare I say, small minded, petty) tyrant, who insists on rigid rules and judges minor details of our lives, with eternal consequences.... (right now I'm looking at that description and wondering how something so petty and narrow could even be called God, but anyway...)<br />
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Just say, for a moment, that "God" is really like that!<br />
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Well... <br />
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In that case...<br />
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I choose love, anyway. Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-51539815135100824932013-04-25T13:38:00.001+10:002013-04-26T09:10:33.948+10:00Crime and Punishment<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I read this clever take on the old story about the woman caught in adultery, on <a href="http://shaneclifton.com/2013/04/25/orson-scott-card-and-the-parable-of-the-woman-caught-in-adultery/" target="_blank">Shane Clifton's Blog</a>, this morning. <br />
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It really IS clever... but somehow, I can't quite agree with it. <br />
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Orson Scott Card frames the tension in this story as a tug-of-war between legalism and corruption. Somehow, "Rabbi Jesus" comes out as having the perfect balance, able to both "preserve the law and forgive the deviation". <br />
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Now I might be on shaky theological ground, here... so I'm chucking it out there to see what others have to say... but I don't think Jesus was on the Law/Lenience paradigm <i>at all, at all, at all</i>. Hear me out... then tell me what you think...<br />
<a name='more'></a>See... it seems to me that Jesus was always about valuing people. Valuing them way above laws, customs and local prejudices. In short; he was all about love. And laws... well, shouldn't they be about preserving the rights and dignity of human beings? And if they are, don't they become kinda redundant when love is our guiding force? <br />
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I guess I'm packing a lot of ideas into a small space here, but if you look at any system of rules created by people, the great flaw seems to be that <i>actually relying on the rules</i> does nothing but create the need for... more rules!! When our focus is on what is legal and what is not, we just find more loopholes, that need more plugging up, which leads to more loopholes and complicated interpretations and so on until the "justice" system becomes anything but just!<br />
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BUT... If our focus is on ensuring that people are cared for in our society, that their voices are heard, and their needs are met... then, the rules don't matter nearly as much. To the extent that we as a society really live out these values, we reduce our need for "rules". <br />
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Even our clogged-up legal system recognises this. See this <a href="http://www.aic.gov.au/documents/5/3/D/%7B53D95879-0B21-40BC-B716-3DACF695FA3B%7Dti186.pdf" target="_blank">article on restorative justice models used in Australia</a>. There are some exciting programs, particularly for young offfenders, that involve conferencing with victims and their families, and mutually negotiating ways to make amends for the damage or loss that they have caused. Of course, there are many situations where this isn't going to work, however the way in which these programs put a human face on both offender and victim is recognised as a huge factor in their success. They move the focus away from rules, and back where it should be - to human relationships!<br />
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There is evidence to suggest that these approaches do reduce the level of re-offending, and that both offenders and victims are generally satisfied that the outcome is just - at least, when it is done well. However, systematised approaches like this are always going to have their weaknesses. The most glaring, being, that they rely on the good will of both offenders and victims, and their desire to bring about restoration. The authors make the point that such models assume that those involved are coming to the negotiation table with attitudes and skills that prepare them to communicate clearly, and envisage just solutions. That is a huge assumption! The truth is, that in our culture, healthy models of love and justice are rare. In the words of Daly and Hayes: <br />
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<i>"The most fundamental challenge to restorative justice, then, lies in awakening new cultural sensibilities about the meanings of “getting justice” and of “just” responses to crime."</i><br />
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For me, that's where stories like the Jesus story are so incredibly important. They help us to re-imagine our society, culture and values in the language and illumination of love. They take us beyond rules, customs, right, wrong, in-group and out... and help us to see how we can value and care for one another as human beings who are intrinsically worthy of love. <br />
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Perhaps, Card is not completely off track, though. I don't think Jesus was "balancing law and anarchy", but the only thing I can see, that takes us out of the whole law&order vs. chaos tug-of-war, is love - and he embodied that. I know I'm an incurable idealist, but if we could all somehow "get" that, laws really wouldn't be needed!Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-56110311894006997512013-04-20T10:41:00.001+10:002013-04-26T10:03:44.074+10:00Against such things...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Recently I've been involved in some online discussions regarding the issue of same-sex marriage. In the first, I posted what I thought was a fairly innocuous comment on facebook, in support of marriage equality. The reaction was... astounding!! I was quite unprepared for the level of vitriol - and the most vitriolic responses invoked "God" as their justification. Ouch!!<br />
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As far as I can discern, "The Way" involves radical love, forgiveness, and through these, the redemptive embrace of our own broken reality. If followers of this "Way" are marked by their radical love for others - what are people following, when they are marked by radical opposition to perceived "immorality"? Take a breath, right now, if you are thinking "yes, but...", and read that again - slowly.<br />
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A phrase from the New Testament has been sticking in my head, in regard to this whole thing. It's from Galatians (I looked it up to check!) it talks about the characteristics of love; the first part is well known - most of us have heard it read at weddings, it gets bandied about quite a bit; love is... patient, kind, not boastful, arrogant or rude, keeps no record of wrongs (now there's a challenge!) always hopes, trusts, perseveres... you know the one - and ends with the observation... "against such things there is no law".<br />
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There is no need to defend love. What's more, there's no defence <i>against</i> it. "The Way" is something quite outside moral codes, and operates in a completely different paradigm to that of legalism and judgment. I'm hearing lots of fearful talk coming from the "Christian Right" (now there's a telling "label") about the possibility of religious leaders being prosecuted for speaking against immorality, and laws being passed that will repress Christians. Here's the thing: There's no way to legislate against love. None.<br />
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Forget (just for a moment) about whether homosexuality, abortion, or any other passionately contested issue is "right", or "wrong" - and have a think about what your interactions are "marked" by.<br />
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If what is coming across is judgment, not love - there's something wrong with the picture. <br />
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And, yes, I think it really IS that simple.Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-27041714924844001972013-04-11T17:09:00.001+10:002013-04-11T21:37:35.428+10:00Jesus as Performance Artist...???<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigfYbZ2G250e_QFk6VWn68hVGw2NupvxjSOhLflM7wlbzPWxJejmDQOIZiZ33sKaYANFwucxJZyNdRGFc1cToBzM9NTYmPc988-Y-LW1Dzo6Q8-Lp0j30QmT9k9WJpcVeS9JJpj2EnHuoi/s1600/Marina-Abramovic.-Portrait-with-white-lamb.-2010.-Courtesy-the-artist-Marco-Anelli-and-Lisson-Gallery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigfYbZ2G250e_QFk6VWn68hVGw2NupvxjSOhLflM7wlbzPWxJejmDQOIZiZ33sKaYANFwucxJZyNdRGFc1cToBzM9NTYmPc988-Y-LW1Dzo6Q8-Lp0j30QmT9k9WJpcVeS9JJpj2EnHuoi/s320/Marina-Abramovic.-Portrait-with-white-lamb.-2010.-Courtesy-the-artist-Marco-Anelli-and-Lisson-Gallery.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image Credit: <br />http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2010/oct/03/interview-marina-abramovic-performance-artist</span></td></tr>
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Yes. I know - this sounds kinda weird... but I have been switched on to performance art, recently, after viewing a performance by <a href="http://zengarage.com.au/2013/03/marina-abramovic-and-ulay/" target="_blank">Marina Abramovic</a>, and learning more about her solo work, as well as her <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marina_Abramovi%C4%87#Works_with_Ulay_.28Uwe_Laysiepen.29" target="_blank">collaborations with German artist, Ulay</a>. <br />
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Performance art is something I have never previously understood. My first experience of it was when a friend and I visited the NSW Art Gallery, and attended a performance art event that just happened to be on. I think we were all of 18 or 19 years old at the time. We didn't know what to make of the bizarre behaviour of the performer. It was confronting, to say the least! Over the years I have seen occasional performance art pieces, but did not find the artform accessible. The piece by Abramovic, linked to above, moved me to tears - in fact, I was a wreck! I shared it with a good friend, and she had the same reaction. Powerful stuff!<br />
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In the performance <a href="http://zengarage.com.au/2013/03/marina-abramovic-and-ulay/" target="_blank">The Artist is Present</a>, Abramovic is seated at a table, opposite a vacant chair. She is there to share one minute of silent connection, with each stranger who comes and sits before her. It is fascinating to watch the reactions of the strangers who come... some seem intrigued, puzzled, some obviously finding the experience of looking intently into the eyes of a stranger very confronting. It forces us to examine both our need for human connection, and the ways we shield ourselves from it. Of course, what brought both me and my friend undone, was when the person who sat before Marina was not a stranger, but Ulay - her former partner, with whom she also created a number of very intimate performance works; someone with whom she had shared a very significant part of her life, and some brutally honest explorations of their shared humanity - and who she had evidently not seen, or had contact with, for many years. The silent interaction between the two is both beautiful to watch, and heart-rending. And, of course, it is no longer "just art" - it is life. <br />
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In a way that no craft of words could possibly do - this moved me to my core. And I think there is something very profound in this. I could explain my ideas about human relationships - they may or may not be right, or useful insights. They may move some people, as they resonate with their own experiences. However words are only as strong as the life they reflect; and there really is no message more powerful than a life honestly lived. <br />
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And... more and more, I am coming to see "The Way" of Jesus as exactly this. Not an exchange of ideas. Not an ideology (God knows the world has more than enough of those already!) But love, lived out. Love embodied. Jesus really did seem to dance around most questions of "theology", choosing instead to live out God's presence on earth in his every action. And, face it, no written code or philosophy is ever going to contain all of love. But our lives? Maybe, just maybe, together, they can!Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-46553796764054549882013-03-25T09:13:00.002+11:002013-03-25T09:14:28.830+11:00Hello again, cyber-space!It has been quite a while since I have even thought about writing a new blog post... Life has been hectic, wonderful, exciting, challenging and very full, over the last few months. I do plan to pick up the blogging again, and finally, things have slowed down enough for me to have a few thoughts percolating... but in the meantime, I thought y'all might like a glimpse of just a few of the things I've been up to over the last few months...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL7OJa0GmusLOVUrQ-7JJezB2OZTXSzYaKbmJcFUxalsQbJ83Lt7ulDwVeJaYRHxEV3i81GzkQ79-qtmeV453kCbJQI3OZ0TxlFRzX7UeGYRhkaG1ZNt7M7kMOxy_fH5i6IjQTli1wAOHt/s1600/Photo+on+22-11-12+at+4.15+PM+%233.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL7OJa0GmusLOVUrQ-7JJezB2OZTXSzYaKbmJcFUxalsQbJ83Lt7ulDwVeJaYRHxEV3i81GzkQ79-qtmeV453kCbJQI3OZ0TxlFRzX7UeGYRhkaG1ZNt7M7kMOxy_fH5i6IjQTli1wAOHt/s200/Photo+on+22-11-12+at+4.15+PM+%233.jpg" width="182" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In full housework regalia (and by housework, I mean building the house - plastering walls, putting on cornice, architraves, skirtings, and painting!!)</td></tr>
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House Renovations - have taken a leap forward!! We have new STAIRS, I am now living in a proper bedroom with a REAL closet!! My daughter has moved out of the study and into her real bedroom, and the upstairs living area is now an actual living area - not a "temporary-bedroom-camp-tool-storage-and-makeshift-office-mess-explosion"!! What a difference it makes! There is still a lot that remains unfinished, but the living spaces are functional now, and I'm loving the sense of space and order that has provided. <br />
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It was worth the weeks of hard work to get it to that point. On the way - help from friends and family (my wonderful brother-in-law, Warren, came down for a week's "holiday", just to help with the plastering, and other friends helped with the clean up, shifting furniture, and other things that I really couldn't manage alone) made me feel very loved, and wonderfully connected. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wazza risking life and limb above the stairwell!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reno - glam girl!!! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6wzJsPl1g1c_QHRd8Zu6kD0X1bhb23Zb1i9o5qpVTVRaarPcPJXFdbfgmOHFhHIt9Zamp58u6yxXOVTMqqcSNYp2xv3CU9KCrcFE8tsPNpDrDDd-cct_OBZouPJkroH9u-Qdp7tkD_SmF/s1600/735904_4243315836407_519773578_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6wzJsPl1g1c_QHRd8Zu6kD0X1bhb23Zb1i9o5qpVTVRaarPcPJXFdbfgmOHFhHIt9Zamp58u6yxXOVTMqqcSNYp2xv3CU9KCrcFE8tsPNpDrDDd-cct_OBZouPJkroH9u-Qdp7tkD_SmF/s320/735904_4243315836407_519773578_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My plasterwork... ready for painting</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Finished - Doesn't it look beautiful??</td></tr>
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We celebrated with a "renovation-warming" party in January... Which was quite a spectacular celebration! For me, after not months but years of "makeshift living", to be able to welcome friends and family into my space and have them celebrate with me was something very special and memorable. We barbecued, ate, drank, laughed, sat around an outdoor fire, watched the kids running around in dressups, and playing with glow sticks and sparklers. My belly dancing buddies and I performed (whoo-hoo!!) & then lots of the other girls, from the ages of two, to seventy-two (as well as one adventurous boy - who some of you have met on these pages, so I will dob him in - blogging buddy, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6253824019426659573#editor/target=post;postID=7916786269114382406" target="_blank">Andrew Cook</a> ) joined in just for the fun of it!<br />
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Since the renovation push, I've been concentrating on catching up some of the jobs that had been neglected outdoors, both because of the concentrated renovation efforts, and having been unwell for the last part of 2012. I'm enjoying seeing my vegetable garden re-emerge from the jungle of weeds, have been doing some very overdue (and enjoyable) Autumn pruning, and am working on building a hen-house for the beautiful Barnevelder chickens I have acquired, and which are currently "agisting" with a friend until their palace is complete.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My beautiful Barnevelder Babies!<br /></td></tr>
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On a personal note, there seems to be quite a poetical symmetry between these physical and practical developments and the emotional and relational shifts and changes I've been going through at the same time. During the time house renovations were being sorted, property settlement and divorce details were amicably arranged. As with the house, it is not all quite complete - but the important parts are in place, and all is well. I mentioned that I had not been well for the latter part of 2012, and this has also resolved, and I'm feeling better than I have in a very long time. On multiple levels, there is a sense of resolution and of moving on. It is a nice season to be in!<br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-71676949118200034562012-12-03T19:56:00.002+11:002012-12-03T20:30:30.925+11:00My Big, Fat Jesus Post!<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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Although it has meandered quite a lot, I think this "series" started out as an attempt to clarify why, although I am not enamoured with institutional Christianity, I still follow Jesus. Basically, it is because I see in Him the fulfilment of all that I see as real spirituality, and the antidote to religion. Ironic, huh, that so much religion has grown up surrounding his name!?<br />
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Many (perhaps most?) people who are familiar with the Jesus story, see it as a call to live according to Christian "law", perhaps a declaration that there is only one way; that being the Judeo-Christian cultural tradition, a denouncement of sin (because of course, that is how we got into this mess - all our fault!), a demand to ascribe to a particular set of "righteous" behaviours, and a requirement to join and belong to the "right" group. The reward for all this, is that you get to go to Heaven, rather than Hell (where all the non-believers end up) after you die, and an implied assumption that "spiritual" and "holy" are something quite apart from this tainted, earthly life.<br />
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The thing is, when you do see it that way, the <i>person</i> of Jesus actually becomes very difficult to reconcile with it. His behaviour and sayings become problematic and contradictory... because they really <i>don't</i> fit in with that view!<br />
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Think about it: Rather than uphold a single cultural tradition, Jesus welcomed outsiders, praised their faith, painted them as heroes in his parables and stories, and steadfastly refused to give credence to the established religious order.<br />
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Rather than denouncing sin, Jesus loved sinners, forgiving, healing and restoring them to relationship. On top of that, he himself consistently broke the Jewish ceremonial laws.<br />
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And rather than coming into the world of 1st century Palestine as "untouchable messiah", or even "supernatural liberator" in order to overturn the status quo, he instead <i>entered into</i> that reality - into all its messiness and grubby humanity - and lived it fully - accepting the worst it could deliver, without retaliation, and ultimately showing the triumph of love over <i>all</i>, including death. The more I look at this story, the more I see a narrative that reconciles "ultimate reality" with real humanity. The spiritual is NOT outside our flawed and broken experience - it infuses it. Connection with the divine does not demand some kind of step of "faith" into something that is not, but the honest embrace of what is. Healing and restoration do not exist somewhere outside our broken existence - they are exactly where <i>we</i> are. <br />
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Kind of sheds some light on the idea of "Emmanuel" - God <i>with</i> us - don't you think?<br />
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For me; whether you see this story as history, allegory, Gospel or fable, it is a story worth living into. I want to live open to the presence of love in all this mess, and the reality of restoration in the midst of brokenness. This is a story that speaks into the reality of my own existence, rather than calling me to be somewhere or someone "other", and compels me to hope, to love, and to <i>become</i> these things for the sake of others. <br />
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If "following Jesus" means walking the path that He walked, then it has nothing to do with wearing a particular label, hanging with a particular crowd, or following a particular set of rules. It has <i>everything</i> to do with entering reality fully and redemptively. That's something I can live by!<br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-189906119978475152012-11-25T13:14:00.004+11:002012-11-27T17:21:20.213+11:00My List<div style="text-align: right;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I do love scribbly gums... Seemed a nice way to make an image of my "list"</td></tr>
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Well, I promised in <a href="http://kerrysheadybrew.blogspot.com.au/2012/11/um-hello-and-launching-right-back-in.html" target="_blank">THIS post</a>, that I would come back and add my own "list" of stuff that has seemed to me, to show a glimmer of the ultimate... If you've just stumbled into the conversation, we've been tossing around ideas on what "authentic spirituality" might be. (Seems that's a question I ask a lot!).<br />
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Some of my wonderful blogging friends added their thoughts to the previous post, and ideas included intuitions of "something more", of connectedness to something greater, and ideals beyond physically tangible reality. I can relate very much to all of those. Here is my little list of the kinds of things in my own life that have seemed to touch on something "deeper":<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Profound family moments...</b> the birth of a baby is one example that is clear in my mind. After my daughter, Hannah, was born I remember watching her asleep and feeling absolutely awed by both the <i>presence</i>, and the profound significance of this tiny person. A whole personality, a whole life, a whole impact on the world around her yet to come... <br /><br />There's also just "something" about knowing someone closely enough to really glimpse the infinity within them - & I guess family, and those friends who are family too, is where that happens best.<a name='more'></a></li>
<li><b>Hard times.</b> It has been during the sharpest traumas in my life, that I have been most aware that there is something more. Call it a "survival" mechanism, if you will - but the most difficult moments, when I have allowed them, have been moments when grace also flowed. There is something about loss that highlights those things with <i>real</i> value. <br /><br />I remember hearing the father of a girl born with multiple and profound disabilities describing the shock, and ensuing challenges of her birth with these disabilities as both the <i>worst</i> thing he had ever been through, and the <i>best</i>. That comment really resonated with me, and I've never forgotten it. There is something about hard times that calls us to be better than our natural selves, and perhaps even to call on resources outside of ourselves. To me, this is spiritual.</li>
<li><b>Grace. </b>As in, giving out (and just as importantly, receiving,) what is <i>good</i>, regardless of whether it is earned or deserved. Kindness and forgiveness can change everything, and are spiritual.</li>
<li><b>Profound change that begins in the heart</b> - as I believe ALL profound change does. I can think of a few times in my life, where I was suddenly able to "see" things very differently - and from that moment both my outlook <i>and</i> circumstances were never the same. To me, these are "God-moments".<br /><br />On a side note, I think this is why "change" that is forced or legislated, without a change in attitude amongst people, only leads to more creative ways to flout the system. I'm not suggesting legislation against such things as prejudice and violence is not necessary; however if there is not an accompanying groundswell of public "heart" behind it, legislation simply becomes complicated and ineffective.</li>
<li><b>And finally</b> (and I'm not really sure what to call this one) there have been moments, not involving a big realisation of anything I could put into words, or a change of attitude - yet it has seemed that God was present, and a situation was changed as a result. Perhaps this is a part of what the New Testament writings were referring to, when they talked about "The Kingdom of Heaven" invading Earth.</li>
</ul>
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-35894766421140767732012-11-19T14:00:00.001+11:002012-11-19T14:04:40.565+11:00Um... Hello??? (And launching right back in... Belief... and stuff!)It's been so long, I'd almost forgotten what my blog looks like! Anyone still out there??<br />
<br />
Sorry for the long silence. Life has been a bit overwhelming over the last couple of months... but I think I'm back!! :D<br />
<br />
AND... I'm still trying to figure out how to write my "Big, Fat, Jesus Post". Here is Attempt Mark II. <br />
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(If you missed it, and are interested; Attempt Mark I is <a href="http://www.kerrysheadybrew.blogspot.com.au/2012/09/things-i-dont-believe-in.html" target="_blank">HERE.</a> )<br />
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I think, perhaps, the best way to begin explaining where I think Jesus fits into the whole cosmic picture, is to talk about what authentic spirituality may or may not be... because I believe that is what he embodies. I know that's a BIG statement - but let's start a little smaller - and as always, please add your thoughts to the discussion too!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image credit: http://library.sasaustin.org/questioning.php</span></td></tr>
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So what is "spirituality"? Seems to me it is an active desire to find and understand both "ultimate reality", and "a better way". For many people (myself included) this amounts to some kind of "search for God". <b>However</b> I know many atheists who would also consider themselves spiritual by this definition - and I agree with them. <br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Religions may have arisen out of our own innate spirituality, but spirituality is NOT a product of religion. <i>Whether we are simply "higher order mammals with enough evolved intelligence to observe, and therefore question our own existence", or whether we are "eternal souls clothed in physical bodies" - the search for meaning, significance, and even 'transcendence', in some sense, of our own physical reality, is still a profound part of our human experience.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">SO... I'm throwing a question out to all of you now:</span></b></i><br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></i>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Without particular reference to religion - What insights /glimpses/ intuitions have you had, of "ultimate reality" and/or a "transcendent way"? </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Have there been experiences in your life that were in some way, "profound"? In what way? What lessons have you learned along life's way, that seem to be "deep truths" pointing to a "better way"? </span><br />
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Post your thoughts here in the comments section. I'm working on a little list of my own (seems it is the season for lists!) - but I think I'll save it for the next post - I want to see what others have to say, first! <br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-73661769318265656072012-09-23T21:25:00.001+10:002012-09-23T21:27:23.890+10:00See you Next Week!Hey, all!<br />
<br />
Just a wee update, since I have not been posting so regularly of late! All is good - work has been very busy - I'm doing a "block" on a K/1 class, and really enjoying having a bit of continuity with the same group of kids. Catapulting into (temporary) full-time work, though, on the back of having been quite unwell, mid-term, has left little energy for writing/blogging/or anything much else!<br />
<br />
SOOOO.... Since it is now school holidays, I am taking the opportunity to head off into the wild blue yonder, to take some time for myself, to rest and reflect. Ian has the kids during the first holiday week, and I have been wanting some silence, and the space to "reconnect", for a while - so it seems like the perfect opportunity!<br />
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I've found a lovely, quiet little place to stay, and am planning to sleep, walk, meditate, and hopefully do some writing too. We'll see. Time alone has often been a very healing thing, for me - and I'm really looking forward to my little break. I'll let you know how it goes!! At the very least, I shall bring back some pretty photos to post :)<br />
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Shalom!<br />
Kerry<br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-28727814224552335332012-09-10T09:38:00.002+10:002012-09-10T09:39:42.697+10:00Parting Ways... and what I don't (and do) believe about the BIBLE!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9M0zsAZtpcbAaaRo7qaeyxEbqSILQjnc2JdCRDE8vhQJobS3uaJC_civv_9pcc7_EzEJiOHABEFgyQbGB9TpUGz0TbQtiFXSXy-aO8nLhB3x4fEi766huawWzwUi2ca5zRucp585C5WvC/s1600/choices2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9M0zsAZtpcbAaaRo7qaeyxEbqSILQjnc2JdCRDE8vhQJobS3uaJC_civv_9pcc7_EzEJiOHABEFgyQbGB9TpUGz0TbQtiFXSXy-aO8nLhB3x4fEi766huawWzwUi2ca5zRucp585C5WvC/s320/choices2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Did I mention I've just made the decision to pull my kids out of the Christian School they're currently attending? <br />
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A big part of the reason is simply financial. We've been struggling to make ends meet, and it has been necessary to re-evaluate. Then there's the fact that Hannah's social group seems to have disappeared (and it is a very small school - a factor that attracted us in the first place, and up until now has been a lovely thing!). I've appreciated lots of things about the school community. Both of my kids have some "quirks" (how could they not, with me as a mother!) that mean they sometimes need a bit of extra understanding and TLC - and the teachers they've had there have been supportive, gracious and caring. If I needed to look for examples of love, from people who are invested in the Christian "institution" - I could very honestly say that I have seen them there, with a consistency that can't, and shouldn't, be dismissed. I have seen, in so many of the teachers there, the genuine love of God. If we could stop there, I would be fighting to find the funds to keep my kids in that education community. <br />
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But... (and it's a REALLY. BIG. BUT.) I've come to the conclusion that the fundamental <i>theology </i> that the school teaches, is damaging my kids' faith. I've struggled for a long time, with knowing how to share with my kids a faith that is real and life-giving, without burdening them with the same religious shackles I grew up with, and have taken not years, but <i>decades</i> to recover from! I still don't have the <br />
<a name='more'></a>answer to that - but for us, at this time, "Christian" schooling is not it. One child has been avoiding school on the days that "Biblical Studies" is being taught. The other has simply learned to parrot when necessary, then dismiss the content as irrelevant. They can't stomach the rigid doctrines; they are unwilling to place their thinking into the bridle and blinkers being offered - and I wholeheartedly support them! Signing up to a specific doctrinal stance, and swearing allegiance to a single, culturally and historically determined "interpretation" is NOT faith. It is most definitely not a pre-requisite for a connection with God. Dogma and relationship are poles apart. I want my children to discover genuine relationships with others and with God. And this religious stuff is getting in the way!! <br />
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Somehow, the very assumption that the "foundation" for "a good Christian life" is "correct (!???!) doctrine" is something I can no longer get my head around, at all. It makes absolutely NO sense, and the reason it makes none, is the person of Jesus.<br />
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Now, I'm still meandering towards my big Jesus manifesto... but as I write this, I'm realising it isn't going to fit into a single post, and this one is probably a bit too higgledy piggledy to be "it" anyway. However, since the "Biblical Studies" component at school has been catalytic in our final decision to abandon "Christian education", perhaps this is a good point to think about what it is I do and don't believe, about the Bible.<br />
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As in the "Things I don't believe" list - I may tweak this over time... but here it is, as I see it today!<br />
<ul>
<li>I <b>don't</b> believe that the Bible is some kind of "magic book". There's no inherent power in the actual printed words on the pages of whatever modern translation OR ancient document you care to name.<br /></li>
<li>I don't believe that the printed words in translations or ancient originals are "inerrent". Face it, translations are FULL of mistakes, and the whole thing comes, and always has done, via human perspectives. <br /></li>
<li>I don't believe that there is only one plain, clear way to read and interpret the Bible. Contrary to what I was often told as a young person - the truth of the Bible is NOT plain and easily read. It is a text that needs to be wrestled with. It is full of contradictions and difficulties, and will provoke more questions than answers.<br /></li>
<li>I don't believe that the Bible is a "rule book". Yes, it contains the books of Jewish religious law, but these are not the whole story, or even the whole point (I actually believe that the laws speak in pictures, of greater realities - but that's a whole other study!)<br /></li>
<li>I don't believe the Bible is a science text. ANY of it. It is a collection of poetry, history and various narratives. All of its writings are embedded in their own social and historic contexts. None of them were written with the purpose of what we would call "scientific education" in mind.<br /></li>
<li>I don't believe that the Bible is the ONLY way God speaks, or has ever spoken, to mankind.<br /></li>
<li>I don't believe God stopped speaking when the "canon" of Scripture was closed. <br /></li>
<li>I <b>do </b>believe that the flawed, human perspectives contained in the books we call the Bible<i>, </i>are valuable <i>because </i>they are flawed, human perspectives. If we are meant to connect, and to relate, rather than "follow rules", it is better to have a text that cannot be followed like a rule book (and much as people have tried over centuries to do just that, I think it is obvious that this really doesn't work!)<br /></li>
<li>I <b>do</b> believe that the <i>story</i> of the Bible is powerful, because it is the story of mankind wrestling with and grappling with understanding ultimate reality <i>and </i>experiencing the divine response to that wrestling.<br /></li>
<li>I <b>do</b> believe that the Bible is <i>inspired. </i>If it is (as I believe it is) a collection of authentic accounts of humanity (in all its gory reality) encountering the power of the divine - then the shape of the divine should be discernable within it.<br /></li>
<li>I <b>do</b> believe that the Bible, in it's entirety, points to the person of Jesus. </li>
</ul>
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Incidentally - this is, according to blogger - my 100th blog post! Perhaps I should bake myself a cake!!! <br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-36562163421938747002012-09-06T10:40:00.001+10:002012-09-06T10:45:53.875+10:00Things I DON'T believe in.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwgjdqzDZDnNtEIj2-Nn-Xo9zi_FLHfWIH7pyqx-OryOaCm2Sn2jHfDRcr3bZKgUhe8t8tGUH38M3oeTm-SNk4kXLBPCTAeXTFsLiYzXRYTkaqAkGw6zFbHbqG6cVD1O-pC56T9Lqa9qQh/s1600/Photo+on+6-09-12+at+10.39+AM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwgjdqzDZDnNtEIj2-Nn-Xo9zi_FLHfWIH7pyqx-OryOaCm2Sn2jHfDRcr3bZKgUhe8t8tGUH38M3oeTm-SNk4kXLBPCTAeXTFsLiYzXRYTkaqAkGw6zFbHbqG6cVD1O-pC56T9Lqa9qQh/s400/Photo+on+6-09-12+at+10.39+AM.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
I seem to be suffering from an ongoing case of "blogger's block" of late... I think it is mostly due to the business of life; work has been FULL on, lately, and (lucky me) the only times it hasn't been, I've fallen victim to the flu or some other rotten nasty bug (would you believe I and number one son are off to the doctor today, both with tonsillitis!), so a lot of things have been "on hold" for the last little while.<br />
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Percolating in the background, however, has been a desire to write a post about where I think the person of Jesus (you know, "Christ", "of Nazareth"... THAT Jesus!) fits into my thinking about life, faith, the universe, etc. Part of my blogger's block, if I'm honest - is the fact that I find this confronting in a lot of ways. It is a challenging post for me to write, and confronts not only what I believe, but how I live my life. I know that I don't embody what I believe to be truth, anywhere NEAR enough. And I think that's what it's all about - so to write about it is... confronting for me.<br />
<br />
Anyway, enough of that. I am going to ease myself into this via the "path of least resistance". Today's post is not about what I believe at all - but what I definitely DON'T. In a sense, it is far easier to be negative about religion and what is wrong with the world, than to BE the solution - but it is also useful to clarify where you are NOT, in order to see where you ARE (if that makes sense), so at the risk of sounding a bit negative, this is where I'm starting. Bear with me!<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
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<ul>
<li>I don't believe ultimate reality can ever fit into a religious system. None.<br /></li>
<li>I don't believe that any "system of rules" can solve the world's problems.<br /></li>
<li>I don't believe my viewpoint - or yours - will ever be large enough to encompass the reality of what really is.<br /></li>
<li>Dogma, of ANY kind, is never a way forward. In fact it leads to the worst kind of ignorance.<br /></li>
<li>I don't believe in "right and wrong" in any black and white sense. These are concepts that belong with dogma and rules, and can actually stand in the way of understanding and relationships.<br /></li>
<li>I don't believe that living, believing, praying a certain way is going to make me any more "right with God", or even more valuable as a person. Some of these things may have value <i>for me</i>, but they do not affect <i>my</i> value, or, for that matter, the value of any other person.<br /></li>
<li>I do not believe that the "religious cultures" that many of us have grown accustomed to, represent genuine faith. The more I look at them, the more I see social and political groups fighting for their position of "privilege". This is completely anti-gospel!<br /></li>
<li>I don't believe that nouveau, "hip", emergent or liberal versions of Christianity <i>necessarily</i> have a greater handle on "truth", although they have rejected many traditional falsehoods. In many cases I simply see the exchange of one "rule set" for another. <br /></li>
<li>I don't believe that the institutions we call "Church" are the church at all. I am not "anti-structure" or "anti-organisation" per-se, but I do not believe that true, relational faith can be contained in them. Because of this, I don't support the re-invention of "Church" as a religious institution. </li>
</ul>
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I think that about covers it... I may add to this list if I think of more. Meantime - what are your thoughts? Do you think I'm going too far? Not far enough? Are there any points you would add or delete? Why? Over to you!!<br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-58214027340663288012012-08-24T19:27:00.000+10:002012-09-06T10:46:26.776+10:00Speaking of "Beautiful".<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO_ygock31rPaOr3AikDy1L5GJjJap8_Svr8JbKV7xQhNpUL4eKqoa0OIC0ZGNbm8RDAcrI42nQvBLaqz9_oaePm608o9R3wqix2HOvTXIatx4OkWWHm-R_U0DQjoCQlMwms0we-LM18CD/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO_ygock31rPaOr3AikDy1L5GJjJap8_Svr8JbKV7xQhNpUL4eKqoa0OIC0ZGNbm8RDAcrI42nQvBLaqz9_oaePm608o9R3wqix2HOvTXIatx4OkWWHm-R_U0DQjoCQlMwms0we-LM18CD/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a></div>
Although some commenters might be wondering, I haven't abandoned the discussion on beauty initiated in the previous post. It's been a busy week and I haven't had the time or mental energy to put anything coherent together - yet. <br />
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However, I was sent something during the week that brought tears to my eyes, and seemed a perfect example of the kinds of things that are "beautiful" in a way that might just transcend biology, attraction, and all that is easily explained. <br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
The sender was my "other brother", Lionel. We grew up together - my siblings and I spending as much time, or more, at his family's house, than our own! I blogged about growing up with the Young family, <a href="http://kerrysheadybrew.blogspot.com.au/2011/11/last-post.html" target="_blank">here</a>. He's still family. Lionel's older brother, Jeff, was disabled as a result of cerebral palsy, and might have been seen (by some) as unable to make much of a contribution to society as a result of his disabilities. Today, he lives in supported accommodation with other men with disabilities. And unbeknowns to me (until this week), has become an artist. <br />
<br />
The art program Jeff is part of was documented on ABC recently, and the section on Jeff and his art can be viewed <a href="http://open.abc.net.au/posts/painting-memories-86zm0jl" target="_blank">here: Jeffery Young Painting Memories</a> (It's quite short - and beautifully put together)<br />
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It brought tears to my eyes. Jeff really is - beautiful!Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-2680522963700243142012-08-22T09:00:00.002+10:002012-09-06T10:47:00.770+10:00Beauty.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmw3KyYwznkeIuyJ7PQCzw81sEfFBRd479vSxy_LR_9KtRPmDvMtPoY8xgx3GCzAKGGlRF-i0ULVorM27DkWPZ-NxJzpbcZqxqve3_oWFhu8r-zi1eo8OLlDOo8tJyxrKziNjeRZau0Eco/s1600/Stars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmw3KyYwznkeIuyJ7PQCzw81sEfFBRd479vSxy_LR_9KtRPmDvMtPoY8xgx3GCzAKGGlRF-i0ULVorM27DkWPZ-NxJzpbcZqxqve3_oWFhu8r-zi1eo8OLlDOo8tJyxrKziNjeRZau0Eco/s400/Stars.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image Credit: http://weheartit.com/entry/29738946</span></td></tr>
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Here's a question that relates to the whole "consciousness" discussion... What about... beauty!?<br />
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I was talking to my deep thinking friend, Monica, the other day and she brought this up. Her question was, do animals have an aesthetic sense? Do they stop and gasp in wonder at a starry sky or soaring vista?? Is the concept and experience of "beauty" something unique to conscious thinking... or not?<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
There is a fundamental level at which, I'd actually say NO. It is not unique to humans, or particular to conscious thought. Much of what we recognise as beauty has to do with attraction, or with patterns and symmetry... aspects of the universe that are fundamental to life. <br />
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In the sense that our idea of "beauty" is linked to "attractiveness" - it's probably quite biological. We are "attracted" to things that we associate with status, with comfort, with satisfaction. No mystery there. <br />
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I suspect patterns and symmetry are also very much a part of our makeup - just as they are an integral part of the order of the universe. This is something that fascinates me... and would make a blog post (or perhaps that brewing novel..) in itself! I find the deep order within things, and our affinity with, and recognition of it, absolutely enthralling! Yet this is not something that necessarily transcends biology.<br />
<br />
Whether other animals are <i>conscious</i> of "the experience of beauty" is something I can't answer. In most cases, the answer is probably no. But perhaps some of the "higher" mammals do experience this. In any case, once again, we are poking at the conundrum of consciousness. Is there a point, at which our experience of the beauty and vastness of this universe, and our place within it, is more than "mere biology"? I know that many of my atheist friends still consider the experience of wonder at the universe, our own existence and the connectedness of all things, to be a "spiritual" experience. <br />
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There is certainly an experience of beauty that seems to take us beyond our selves, and connect us with a wider, deeper reality. Another example of our "internal worlds" being infinitely vast, and our capacity to "live beyond" our own biology in some sense. It can include pain, savagery, injustice, tragedy... but nonetheless, life is... beautiful!<br />
<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-18013876693675151882012-08-20T09:36:00.002+10:002012-08-20T09:39:47.729+10:00Catching Up...<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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I had some thoughts about what I might post about next, but given the fact I've been absent for a while, I think perhaps just a little "personal catch-up" might be in order... I'll get deep and philosophical later!<br />
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I'm not sure why I've had so little to write, of late. There are a few "common-sense" factors. Work has been very busy, most of the time - and though I'm enjoying it (most days) I do tend to come home "knackered", and without the available brain-space to put anything very coherent together. However, even on the days when I'm not working, my head hasn't really been in the right space for writing. <br />
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I'm also the kind of person who tends to focus intensely on something for a while, then move on to something else. This blog has been and continues to be a passion of mine, but a few new things have taken precedence of late. One is that I have taken on the job of "webmaster" for the local group of writers I am a part of, and what time and energy I have had, lately, has gone into trying to redevelop the website (a big challenge, since I have no real web-expertise!), and also into setting up a facebook page for writers (If you're on facebook, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/FellowshipOfAustralianWritersSouthernHighlands" target="_blank">come check it out</a> - we've been having some great fun on there!!) <br />
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But beneath it all, for some time now, has been a great sense of fatigue, and a lack of inspiration. I do suffer intermittently from depression (the little green pill I take each morning helps keep it at bay, but sometimes it still sneaks up on me) and have had issues with fatigue (which I've mentioned before on here) for some years now - and for the past few months, it's been hard to keep on top of everything. C'est la vie!! I'm alright, really - I've learned to go easy on myself during times like this, because I know it doesn't last, and I'll get there in the end. I'm still enjoying teaching, and the facebook interaction has been fun - not too heavy, but still creative! I think I'm on the upward swing now - and resolved to do some common-sense things like taking better care of my own health (eat healthier, a bit of sensible exercise and ...gulp... perhaps a little less alcohol??)<br />
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One of the nicest things to come out of this particular "dry period", though, is the sense that although <i>I</i> have felt disconnected and a little "lost" at times, I still have the sense that the Everlasting has not changed, and I continue to be cradled in the arms of love. THAT is something I can live on!!<br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-66140406773736923062012-07-28T19:47:00.004+10:002012-07-28T19:50:22.778+10:00What is "Spiritual"?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image Credit: http://www.iconfoundation.net/?q=research-topics/connectomics</span></td></tr>
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Well... I have been avoiding writing, for some reason, of late... a bit of writers (hell, everything-ers) block! Time to kick my brain back into gear and get moving, methinks!<br />
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I was on a bit of a roll, about consciousness, and internal, vs. external worlds. It still seems to me that our internal worlds are bigger, and arguably more influential (?!) than the external, physical world. My friend Monica, when we were having a conversation about this, made the point that the number of atoms in the physical universe is thought to be finite - yet the world of ideas and imagination is infinite.<br />
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In a previous discussion, it was pointed out that some of the things we think of as "transcending" biology, such as art, literature, religion, can be explained in biological terms as "display behaviour". I'm sure there is very often a strong element of this - but I find it hard to believe it's really that simple. And to be honest, I think that when any of these things are strongly motivated by something so basic, it shows. The things that really make "our spirits soar" tend to be those that take us beyond all that in some way.<br />
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So, for me, the idea that the immeasurable and intangible worlds of culture, ideals, imagination, intellectual connection, and the spiritual (however you define that) embody something much bigger and more influential than physics and biology (although it negates neither) is something I just can't shake.<br />
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But this also begs the question - what <i>is</i> "spiritual"? Is it the uniquely wonderful, yet very human capacity to create a world of imagination and ideals that is every bit as strong as - perhaps stronger than - the physical universe, and to bend reality, in some senses, according to this internal construct? Is it a product, a kind of "epiphenomena" arising out of our complex neural networks, which is biologically based, yet in some sense manages to transcend its own biological basis?<br />
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Or is it really a connection between a part of us that is eternal, pre-existent, and outside of the physical, with a consciousness outside of and greater than our own biology? <br />
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Truthfully - there are things I have seen and experienced that make me lean towards the latter. I believe there is a God. However if my "neural net" and the epiphenomena that arise from this, are all I truly have - I still think that is enough. If the ideals of "love", "tolerance", and working together with others for a more positive future are neural "epiphenomena" - it makes them no less worth living for.Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-13543825713982444852012-07-12T13:16:00.002+10:002012-07-12T13:23:11.202+10:00What's more Real??<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6ZpYv32H8Fw0MbwJZUdXLukdEKQg-I_w8x6aax_46Akz2j0FG28j9zgfEPF5UkFi_Nx_BWVRFgAkGK3yOEOLxbgvBuR_ff44vVxu9QwAJQj5ioGKzzfvFrde-hD-pgfCvVnTCWmc-OpWr/s1600/Atoms-notes-and-queries-007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6ZpYv32H8Fw0MbwJZUdXLukdEKQg-I_w8x6aax_46Akz2j0FG28j9zgfEPF5UkFi_Nx_BWVRFgAkGK3yOEOLxbgvBuR_ff44vVxu9QwAJQj5ioGKzzfvFrde-hD-pgfCvVnTCWmc-OpWr/s400/Atoms-notes-and-queries-007.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image credit: http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2011/mar/09/why-are-atoms-so-small</span></td></tr>
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We are getting so "life, the universe and everything" here, of late - that some wiseguy is SURE to make the comment "42". But if you don't mind adding a little chaos to your mental mix, come along for the ride! There are sure to be more questions than answers, but I've fallen victim to an addictive fascination, so here we go again!!<br />
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I've been marvelling at the infinite nature of human consciousness (<a href="http://kerrysheadybrew.blogspot.com.au/2012/06/whats-blowing-my-mind.html" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://kerrysheadybrew.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/tardis-people.html" target="_blank">here</a>, if you missed it), and the fact that our own "internal worlds" are immeasurably vast, and able to both represent and transcend the physical universe, in so many ways. The physical universe and our own biology certainly do place limits on us, and far more than I think we like to believe. There are many ways in which our behaviour and thinking can be seen as very much "biologically determined". I get that. And I know we are adept at inventing fictitious (or at least, semi-fictitious) explanations for our own motivations and actions, fooling even ourselves - so this really <i>is</i> a complex puzzle to tease apart. </div>
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However, as much as I pull and poke at my understanding of ourselves and our universe - I continue to see something infinitely larger than the sum of our atoms. <br />
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I'm having trouble pulling my thoughts together coherently on all this (a sure sign that I'm in over my head!), but here are the bits that make sense to me...</div>
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It seems to me, that even the most "basic" human being (if there even <i>is </i>such a thing!) Lives in a world coloured by ideas; imagination, fantasy, ideals, hopes, aspirations, world-view... the list goes on. Add to this the fact that even the "physical" realities of our world are experienced within our own consciousness - a kind of virtual representation, if you will - and our "internal worlds" contain all that we will ever experience. </div>
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In addition to the fact that all we are and know is contained within this nebulous construct we call "consciousness"; our internal worlds fly so far beyond the physical and biological, that I can only describe thinking about it as a "glimpse of eternity". Relationships, surely an aspect of our internal worlds that have <i>very</i> demonstrable links to our biology, are chosen and maintained according to social and ideological criteria. An exhilarating romance, for example, seems fuelled by fantasy, shared ideals and dreams and social game-playing, just as much as it is by basic biological instinct. In fact, romantic relationships based "purely"(!!) on sex, don't tend to last. </div>
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Now think about things such as philosophy, religion, literature and technology. Much as we are undeniably "biological" creatures, I don't believe our biology can account for all of this. Our intellectual worlds are incredibly complex and far-reaching, and much as some might say that our internal worlds are simply a powerful illusion, I would argue that this "illusion" is what drives our behaviour, our relationships, and our societies. Yes, basic greed, "territorial instincts", and other "animal instincts" colour our world in ways that mar our ideals and interfere with any "transcendent reality" we may aspire to. Yet the fact that we even <i>have </i>ideals, values and morals, speaks to me of something more than the physical. We look at the destruction caused by our unchecked impulses and seek answers. Even if what you define as "something more" is simply consciousness and intellect; it cannot be dismissed as illusory, when it has so much influence over behaviour, relationships and society as a whole. In fact, every major social change, every life-altering decision, probably started, not with a biological drive, but with an idea.</div>
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As we learn more about the science of how our minds and bodies work, understanding more of the biological platform out of which our conscious minds seem to arise, I don't think the mystery is lessened. Perhaps it is good to also remember that what we think of as "solid matter" really is not solid at all - and in light of this - if even our physical bodies are comprised of nothing but orbiting energy - what IS more real??</div>
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<br /></div>Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-40497671083776665782012-07-09T16:07:00.001+10:002012-07-09T16:08:21.188+10:00Tardis People!<br /><blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Each being contains in itself the whole intelligible world.</i> </span> <span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">PLOTINUS</span></blockquote>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image Credit: http://www.androidzoom.com/android_applications/entertainment/tardis_bmqhf.html</span></td></tr>
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Alright. I'm completely stuck on this notion of each human being as a "universe" - perhaps several! Like Doctor Who's Tardis - SOOO much bigger on the inside!! (and I would argue, in so many more dimensions!)<br />
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Walt Whitman, in his famous poem <i>Song of Myself - </i> described all kinds of things occurring around him, as if they were a part of him and contained within him - and so far as we understand consciousness - they are!!<br />
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If we could roll out some kind of map or representation of all that is contained within the consciousness of a single individual - it would display much of the physical world (albeit with individual emphases and distortions) and an infinite amount of thought, feeling, imagination and individual perspective. It would be HUGE in every dimension possible, and anything <i>but</i> finite or static. <br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">If we were to map out the combined consciousness of every living being on this planet - we would have mapped out as many universes, and more. Within those combined maps, would be countless iterations of the scientifically "known" universe. </span><br />
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This line of thinking leaves me with more questions than answers... but I find it absolutely fascinating. How many iterations of "spiritual" understandings would correlate strongly and suggest a shared reality? What would our combined representation of what we tend to think of as "spiritual" look like? Would they map completely onto accepted understandings of the physical world, in some way - or not? <br />
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I guess when we are open to exploring one another's understandings - whether or not they differ from our own, we are informally engaged in exactly that kind of research.<br />
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And what about "shared realities"? I'm one of those people who feels most satisfied, after really deep sharing with friends (I guess that is the main reason I blog) ... For me, gaining understanding of another, and feeling understood, is more satisfying that a good meal! I suspect that when we share our internal worlds with others, we create something larger again - Our combined understanding is larger than the sum of any individual consciousness (if that sentence makes sense...) We add to one another's internal worlds, and enlarge our own when we share our "selves". We grow in sharing - in knowing, and in being known. <br />
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Incidentally, Peter Rollins has been blogging about something along these lines, <a href="http://peterrollins.net/?p=3783" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://peterrollins.net/?p=1231" target="_blank">here</a>. His emphasis is on the way that he believes love "enlarges" the other... I think it does - and this is even more food for thought!<br />
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Is human consciousness limited and imperfect? Of course!! Is it also infinite and limitless? Absolutely!! <br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-20369197579666382012-07-06T22:14:00.001+10:002012-07-07T13:08:00.362+10:00Gran TorinoI & my kids spent most of the last week at my brother's house, taking care of my nieces and nevvies, while Josh and his lovely wife were off holidaying (lucky them)!<br />
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While I was there, "playing auntie" I ferreted through Josh and Caro's DVD collection, and found a copy of Çlint Eastwood's "Gran Torino" - a movie I'd always wanted to see but hadn't gotten around to. I watched it after the kids were in bed. It. Was. Beautiful!<br />
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I blogged a while ago about <a href="http://kerrysheadybrew.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/typology.html" target="_blank">"types of Christ"</a>, mentioning a few I'd seen in movies. Definitely gotta add Walt Kowalski (Eastwood's character in Gran Torino) to that list.<br />
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Seriously - I've been wanting to write some kind of story, of a character who surrenders, gives his life for others - and triumphs in a lasting way - and where "death" of some kind (not necessarily of a person) becomes the gateway to life - but hadn't found the "vehicle" for the story - and Eastwood well and truly beat me to it!!<br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">I know it's not a really recent movie - so I'm (as always) "behind the times", "missing the boat"and all that... I'm very often slow to catch up with these things - but this was a story that REALLY resonated with me.</span><br />
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For those (like me, until a couple of days ago) who haven't already seen this excellent film, Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski, a Korean war veteran, racist, disgruntled with life, disconnected from his family, and recently widowed. He lives in a neighbourhood that has become an immigrant ghetto, is overrun with gang violence, and in which he is a minority as "white American" resident. His neighbours are a Korean family who he refers to as "Gooks". He dislikes pretty much everyone - especially them.<br />
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As the story develops, he gets to know his Korean neighbours, becoming especially attached to Sue, and as the story progresses, her brother, Thao - early in the story, a local gang tries to induct Thao, setting the theft of Kowalski's car - a vintage Ford "Gran Torino" as a kind of initiation. Kowalski catches Thao in the act, and prevents the theft using his army rifle - the same one he used in Korea.<br />
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To counter the shame of Thao's actions, his family insist he perform a kind of "penance" by working for Kowalski to make amends. Kowalski puts the youth to work, doing good deeds in the neighbourhood, and in the process, becomes attached to the boy. <br />
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But the gang has not let Thao go. They try to intimidate him by force - burning his face with cigarettes and threatening more violence. In spite of Thao's protestations, Walt insists on retaliating; finding Thao's cousin ( a member of the gang) and beating him; promising more violence, if there are any more attacks on Thao.<br />
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The results of Walt's attack are catastrophic. The gang machine guns Thao's family home (narrowly missing a fatal shot at Thao) and kidnaps and violently rapes Sue. <br />
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Thao (unaware of Kowalski's involvement in the escalating violence) looks to Walt for a solution. Walt talks to him about vengeance, about the reality of killing another human being, and then locks Thao in his basement, proceeding to "deal" with matters alone.<br />
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Kowalski proceeds to the apartment blocks, where the gang members live. He parks his vehicle, calls them to come out, and they do. As the scenario unfolds, neighbours gather to witness the scene. Kowalski baits the gang members, leading them to believe he has come to shoot them in retaliation for their actions towards Thao and Sue. As he reaches into his jacket for a lighter, the gang members gun him down, thinking he is reaching for a weapon. <br />
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Kowalski falls to the ground, arms outstretched - his body in the shape of a cross. In his hands - his army lighter. He was unarmed. <br />
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Thao and Sue (having released her brother from Kowalski's basement) arrive on the scene in time to discover that Walt has sacrificed himself. However, this time "there are witnesses". The gang members are going away for a LONG time. Thao and Sue are free. In the final scenes, we find that Walt has left nothing to his family. His house has been willed to the Church, and his Gran Torino and his dog, to Thao. <br />
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Gran Torino is an utterly believable story of self-sacrifice winning over violence and force. Kowalski himself takes the duration of the film's timescale to realise this. However in the end - love triumphs - and really DOES transform everything.<br />
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Type of Christ?? Well, a reluctant one, perhaps - but yes. I think so!<br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-88933831039655555952012-06-28T09:55:00.000+10:002012-06-28T09:58:25.850+10:00What's Blowing my Mind!It's been a while since I posted any thoughts here, and to be honest, things have been so busy with work, etc., that I haven't got a lot of clearly thought out things to say. However, between bouts of busy bedlam (hehe, sorry!!) I have been working on a bit of poetry.<br />
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The pieces aren't finished, and when they are I am hoping to enter them into a competition or anthology or some such thing... which means I can't share them here, as that would be considered publication. However I'm attempting to bounce around some really HUUGE ideas, so if you're up for it - I'd like to bounce them around here (sans poetry - which will be a relief, for many of you, I'm sure) and hear your thoughts, dear friends!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image Credit: http://www.newclearvision.com/2011/09/21/the-unfolding-universe/</span></td></tr>
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I've been toying with the idea that each human being is a universe... or perhaps, a multiverse? I mean, think about it. We think Doctor Who's Tardis is amazing - but WE are far "bigger on the inside" than that! <br />
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Each of us contains a world of experience and thought, that is quite infinite. And when we share our inner worlds, we create "infinity multiplied". </div>
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Think about a book. Inside, say, "Anne of Green Gables" (just to choose a random example) you will find the World of Prince Edward Island, and a tearaway foster-kid named Anne. Enter it's pages and you'll be transported to another place and time, with glimpses into other places and times along the way. The thing that is amazing to me, is that once you finish the book and return it to the shelf - you carry that world inside your "tardis" forever. Talk about it with your friends - and they carry a little bit, too. A library contains potentially infinite different "worlds of experience" on its shelves. However books are not conscious - they are simply the written recording of part of the consciousness of the author. </div>
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WE are conscious beings. We already contain infinite worlds of experience - and these are constantly growing, changing, integrating, assimilating, and even rebirthing themselves in the many ways we communicate and share our experiences. And <i>here's</i> the bit that is really teasing at me!! <b>Our own consciousness is, in fact, ALL we ever experience.</b> </div>
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<b>STOP</b> right here. <i> Go back and Re-read</i> that last sentence with different inflections. Think about it. </div>
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Did you do that? </div>
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Isn't your amazing, infinite, conscious mind just a teeny-weeny bit blown, right now?</div>
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Everything you see, hear, smell, touch, taste or imagine... is experienced "virtually", through the neural network that is your central nervous system. "Consciousness" - the ability to be aware of and experience... well, anything! - is, I think, the single greatest mystery in all of existence. </div>
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Descartes is famous for having said <i>"Cogito ergo sum"... I think, therefore I am. </i> From what I can gather (and I'm not very edjumicated in formal philosophy - so jump in and help out here if you can) Descartes was trying to work out some kind of logic system, to prove what we know. Yet, our consciousness is the sum total of our experience. That is ALL we know. And while that sounds limiting - it seems to me that it is quite the opposite. Yes. There are limitations on what can be experienced "directly"... but vicariously? Theoretically? We really can go anywhere!! Just as the physical universe is expanding - so is the internal universe of every sentient being on the planet! </div>
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Hasn't that blown your mind? (I think I can hear some kind of "big bang" going off, right now!!)</div>
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<br /></div>Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-86880606437963031782012-06-12T12:40:00.003+10:002012-06-12T13:18:38.840+10:00Kerry goes Bolshie!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC7i_VMZjLBkPkMlUWaB__VAiqezYvXo92x-0HjKC-BCj9DdkTfBE8HWx-_gMGU7s6Vjb6bv224TXukQvjevs1sQ1UxLNua3ayDdg5ZWJkPrqNRGDLEpbGkRCaFyP5lW3xN9MU8NnZ2Ll1/s1600/angry+face+girl+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC7i_VMZjLBkPkMlUWaB__VAiqezYvXo92x-0HjKC-BCj9DdkTfBE8HWx-_gMGU7s6Vjb6bv224TXukQvjevs1sQ1UxLNua3ayDdg5ZWJkPrqNRGDLEpbGkRCaFyP5lW3xN9MU8NnZ2Ll1/s320/angry+face+girl+(2).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image credit: http://funnycollectionworld.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/angry-girl-face-photos.html</span></td></tr>
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I want to have a big, cranky "vent". I'm letting off steam a bit here, okay - so I'm giving you all fair warning, though I'll try not to be completely detrimental!<br />
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I attended church on the weekend. The little church I have been going to is a lovely little community in so many ways. There is a "holding loosely" of doctrinal ideas, that allows people of different persuasions to feel welcome. There's room for discussion, and for difference. Sometimes it looks pretty "churchified" and other times it looks pretty free and relaxed. Sometimes, what happens there challenges or softens me and my 'Bolshie' prejudices, and other times, I think I challenge others, in a good way (at least, I hope so - a lot of the time I'm afraid I just look like that spiky, mistrustful "outsider"). <br />
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Anyway... I turned up on Sunday after a couple of months absence. It was lovely to see familiar friends. We sang about Jesus and love. That was beautiful. Cathy shared communion, and it was a message of hope and gratitude. It did my heart good. There was a baby dedication, where friends and family gathered round and committed to supporting one another to bring up little William (he and I are good mates, in spite of our 46 year age difference) to know God's love. Then there was a guest speaker. I kinda think that's when "Church" (in the sense of community built around the love of God - that kind of church) finished.<br />
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He definitely got me a little off-side by starting with a "joke" that was actually rather nasty and misogynistic. Oh well... doesn't mean he really takes that attitude, does it? Let's see how things go... The message began with the guy saying that God had always been there for him. So far, so good. He recounted his born again experience, and miraculous healing of broken ribs that happened unexpectedly as he was baptised. How he'd been filled with enthusiasm, and life had taken on new colour and meaning after experiencing God. Okay. But then it kind of started to sound more and more like an endorsement for Amway - oops, I mean institutional Christianity. I began to get more and more restless in my seat as he recounted how his faithfulness to the <i>church</i> had resulted in "ministry" opportunities, how friends who had originally been "on fire" for God had drifted over the years, hopped from church to church, or even ceased to attend at all - and how he could see the detrimental effects of this in their families and personal well-being. How trusting God and being faithful in 'ministry' had led to financial blessings. Even an awesome car. He talked about the righteous "leaving an inheritance for their children" which could "also" include an inheritance of faith... By then I was definitely turning into cranky, Bolshie Kerry. I showed my graciousness by leaving my seat quietly and only muttering under my breath. <br />
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Normally, when someone is speaking out the front in our church, it's okay to stick your hand in the air and interject - question, add something... I wanted to do that, but because he was a "guest", and also likely not accustomed to such informality, I thought it would just appear rude. I'm still wishing I had - though it would have been a challenge for me to do so graciously - I was getting a bit hot under the collar, so perhaps it's just as well I bit my tongue. Or not. <br />
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Seriously! That kind of crap makes my blood boil! And it goes UN-QUESTIONED!! I'm mad at myself for not challenging it at the time. But not just that - for not BEING the antidote. There's the sticking point.<br />
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It's easy to poke the finger at people who seem all caught up in a horrible religious culture. Who think they are promoting God, when in fact they are only using his name to endorse the system that supports them. And to say that this kind of "us and them" mindset is what feeds hatred and bigotry in the world. It's easy to point out that this is all very small-minded and that God has to be a whole LOT bigger. But unless I'm living that reality; and God is showing himself bigger in ME - All I'm going to do is add to the noise of conflict.<br />
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So my challenge to myself, is not just to talk about it, but to LIVE into a better reality. And to put Jesus to the test - right where the rubber hits the road. I haven't been living that out very well. That's the truth. I'm sorry for being spiky and difficult; and for my own inability to love well. Because I think the answer really does lie right there. And next time somebody gets up in front of a bunch of people and starts subverting the message of love - perhaps I'll have the right words, and be able to say them in the right spirit.<br />
<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-84588580168766108752012-06-05T14:10:00.001+10:002012-06-05T15:28:15.517+10:00Why is it a big deal?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I glanced over a post in Sojourners this morning, about Christians disagreeing about stuff. Not exactly new news. The article made the point that as a community of people, it would be more surprising if we <i>didn't</i> disagree (which I think is true) but the author was concerned that the <i>way </i>we go about it is really the problem. I guess I agree with that too - at least, that the unloving, point scoring, superior way Christians often go about disagreeing on everything from doctrine to politics to clothing, is problematic. To put it mildly. Actually, if you take the words of Jesus seriously, it's a sign that those who behave like this are not actually Christians. (I'm not kidding - if "they will know them by their love" is true - there are a LOT of very churchy types who are in deep, spiritual trouble!)<br />
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But I digress.<br />
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People in "Christian circles" can get very heated and intense about all sorts of stuff. Politics. Abortion. Contraception. What "church structure" should look like. The roles of men and women. Music. Clothing. The list is pretty much endless.<br />
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But my question is this. WHY does any of that stuff matter so much? Why does "The Church" have to have a unified stand on it at all?? If it is really all about love and relationships - community - then there should naturally be room for diversity. If it's not about the rules, then the rules shouldn't be the focus. <br />
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But I think it goes deeper than simply relationships versus rules. There's a mindset behind a lot of the arguing, that "The Church" is somehow the authority for what is right, and what is not. Well if it is, I suppose there ought to be some consensus - but where does that idea come from? Conversations I recently had with some Christian friends about their opposition to legalising gay marriage in Australia really highlighted this for me. The whole "God says it. So I must enforce it" mentality seems flawed to me in a whole lot of ways. Not least, because nobody can actually agree on whether God does say it - even theologians. <br />
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And if the whole Christian thing is about relationship and love, and no need for a mediator between any individual and God - then shouldn't there be room for the individual and God to work out where they stand on issues like this? Love shouldn't depend on ideological or theological conformity!<br />
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But behind a lot of the arguing, is still this idea that it matters - critically - because the Church is the authority. Hmmmm... really??? Which Church? And - over <i>everybody??? </i>Personally, if that's the truth - I think we're in BIG trouble!<br />
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Yet if the words of Jesus are any indication (!!!) "The Church" was never meant to be the model of correct anything. It was meant to be the embodiment of love. Doesn't that put a completely different slant on <i>everything</i>??? I really think it does!<br />
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<br />Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-78079482743464117122012-05-27T19:47:00.001+10:002012-05-29T07:32:14.948+10:00What we See...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Okay. Here is where you get to see what a complete ninny I can sometimes be... but there's a point to this!<br />
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A while ago, a friend told me the story of having sighted, some years ago, a Tasmanian Tiger (Thylacine) in the bush near Bargo, NSW. For those who don't know the Highlands, Bargo is not far from where I live. Now Thylacines have been extinct for the best part of a century - so in spite of his attestation that both he AND his father had seen the animal and been sure of its identity - I was not convinced. However the story kind of stuck in the back of my mind.<br />
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Last week I worked 5 days in a row in a lovely country school, and enjoyed the beautiful drive through the bush every day to get there. On the first day, I noticed a dead animal by the side of the road, on one of the bends. It looked much like a dog, but dark in colour and appeared to have some stripes. For some reason, the idea formed in my mind that it looked rather like a Tasmanian Tiger. I pushed the thought away, but it kept coming back. After driving past it several days in a row and deciding it really <i>didn't</i> look like a dog, I decided I should investigate - <i>just </i>in case I really happened to be driving past the zoological discovery of the century! <br />
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So, on my way home from work on Wednesday, I drove slowly, looking for the bend where it had been lying. At last, I found it. I found a safe place to pull over. I took my phone, to take a photo if it really was something unusual. As I walked closer and began to get a better view, I burst out laughing, put my phone back into my pocket and got back in the car. It was... a blown tyre. That's right - It wasn't even an animal!<br />
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The oddest part of the story, is that for the following two days when I drove past it, it no longer looked like a dead mammal. It looked just like a tyre!<br />
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Isn't that the most frustrating thing about human perception? We "see" according to our preconceived ideas. Sometimes (as in the case of my mistaken zoological "discovery") it is possible to get up close and either confirm or disconfirm our preconceptions. But not always. So how do we know we can trust our own perceptions? Well, I think it is safest to say that we cannot! Perhaps it's a good reminder to hold our impressions of "what is" loosely!<br />
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Oh, and in my defence, I should tell you that I had misplaced my glasses...Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6253824019426659573.post-7714525064632749232012-05-23T19:14:00.000+10:002012-05-23T19:14:10.593+10:00... A Busy Season ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, things have slowed down here on the blog - on account of becoming VERY busy elsewhere - For those who don't know, when I'm not wasting time online, or doing crazy things to my house and yard, I earn money as a casual relief teacher. After a very quiet period, the teacher-absentee-season has arrived with a venegeance! I've been working full-time hours the last couple of weeks, and had to turn down additional offers of work almost every day - it's gone crazy!! </div>
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In spite of a little unaccustomed weariness at the end of each week, this is a very GOOD thing, as the finances were getting alarmingly shabby! (note to self: budget better for the quiet season next year!!)</div>
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I'm also really enjoying the schools I've been working at... this week I have the WHOLE week with the most delightful bunch of Kindy kids - & I'm really enjoying the change of pace - it's kinda cool having completely different ages and stages from day to day!</div>
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So if the blog updates get a little less frequent for a while, or I don't pop up as regularly in the usual cyber-places, it's not because anything's gone wrong - it's all fabulously right! My teacher-muscles are enjoying the workout, and my bank balance is singing!! I'll update when I can, and look forward to hanging out more regularly once things slow down again...</div>Kerry Millerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03051264598690393719noreply@blogger.com2