|Image Credit: simplenomics.com|
It's true. My kids will shout loud in agreement - it's something they regularly complain about! Even right now, at this moment, here I am with my head engaged with a computer keyboard, formulating something I want to say - and if my daughter decides she wants to talk to me, she's gonna get frustrated because I likely won't hear her, first time 'round.
I find I'm a little better with written conversations (which is probably why I have taken so avidly to blogging). I guess the medium itself slows things down a little, so it is easier to focus on what someone else is really saying. Yet even in print, I regularly shoot off an answer (loving discussion, as I do) and realise later that I had not fully read the thing I was commenting on; or that I had missed some point or other; or that I had actually MIS-read what the person was saying. At least once, I've mistaken who it was I was replying to! (Sorry Doug and Stuart... gulp!)
That's me! Galloping ahead with my own thoughts and opinions, and missing half of what's going on around me!
And I've been thinking on that, a bit. Usually, when I realise something I've missed - it's when a little time has elapsed and I revisit the post or comment (or conversation, if it's in real-time). It seems to me, that a little pause is absolutely necessary to real listening. My head goes so fast and loud, sometimes, that I need a BIG pause!
Seems to me, that real listening is another facet of really being present. Something I'm realising I'm not very good at.
So - I'm going to work on that. Blurting-out-bull-at-a-gate me, is going to start slowing down, and shutting up. I am going to bite my tongue if I have to, shut down my incessant internal chatterings, and Actually. Listen.
One of my facebook friends, Roxanne Amico, posted something wonderful the other day, about this, and her words have stayed with me so I am going to share them:
"But what of more room for steeping in the tea of ideas, prior to reacting to what one perceives is being said? Or prior to responding what one fears is meant? Often, this way of doing dialectics turns into a battering ram...More questions are needed. If the point is to truly learn, we are going to need: More listening. More reading. More pausing. More silencing of our own belief systems, to allow new, unfamiliar possibilities.
I love that... "More steeping in the tea of ideas"! Thank you, Roxanne... gonna work on "steeping" a lot more.