Dying.

Woke up with a revelatory thought, the other morning - a real "WOW" moment!!

But to explain it, I think I need to give some background.

There have been some points in my life, where I have "given up" something, feeling it was a difficult sacrifice - only to find that as I let go of whatever it was, I found myself in an amazing new place, wondering why I had never let go before. The most recent of these was a bit of a turning point in my
marriage (which I wrote about in "love, Actually" a couple of posts back). I guess what I "let go of" at that time, was the right to set conditions on love. I thought they were important (I will love you only if you treat me right; only if we genuinely connect) but letting go of them and deciding to love, regardless, has opened my eyes to a whole new universe!! I will get off track if I go on about it too much - but it's as if those "conditions" that I thought were so essential, were the very things stopping me from really loving, and even from perceiving the love that was around me all along.

Anyway, back to the idea of "letting go". There have been other times in my life, too, where I've let go of something I thought was essential; let it "die", if you will - & found freedom and life in its place. Jesus talked about this a bit. "unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it cannot bear fruit", and "whoever keeps his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it". I've been dwelling on this kind of idea a bit, lately.

Anyway, that's the background. The "WOW" moment happened in the early, half-awake moments of Tuesday morning. I guess I'm still reveling a bit in the new freedom of this whole unconditional love thing, & some thoughts about letting go, finding freedom, etc. etc. were rolling around in my head - then it hit me! I think that's what actual, physical dying is like. We let go of this life, and step into so much more!! Not only that, but if we have lived this kind of "God life" - letting go of the stuff that holds us back, and stepping into new realities - it isn't even something strange and unfamiliar! We've done it before!!

For those who do not already know, my beautiful Dad passed away on January 30th. His passing was peaceful - he was ready. I had the privilege of being with him, and watching him "let go" as he stepped into his next wonderful reality. Of course, I won't see that reality until I let go of my physical life too - & there are plenty of new adventures for me between now and that day - but you know what? I think I will be ready!